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Marriage Help Articles

Sex in Marriage: An Obstacle with a Solution

A general definition of marriage is the legal, financial and emotional union of a man and a woman with the inclusion of the legitimization of a sexual relationship within the marriage. Although there is an overall belief that the majority divorces are due to financial reasons, problems with sex and sexuality appear on the top of the list as well, whether too much sex in marriage, too little or none. Keeping sex in marriage and finding a good balanced sexual life together as a married couple can be challenging, but very rewarding.

Many factors can contribute to a poor sex life and lead to a myriad of relationship problems and in some cases to divorce. Couples stop spending time together or the sex in marriage is not what it used to be and couples get bored. The novelty and excitement has worn off. Others seek something new and exciting and start having affairs or looking for sexual adventures elsewhere. This choice ultimately brings a person to great regret later.

Another common cause is the birth of a child. After giving birth, women in general do not feel sexy; many say they feel trapped in a body that they hardly recognize. They then experience a sense of loss in terms of their sexuality. Their lives revolve around cleaning, cooking, doing laundry and an endless list of things that need to be done, not to mention job responsibilities for those women working outside the home. Finding time for romance and relaxation becomes tricky and difficult. Easy and spontaneous intimacy is lost and instead it has been substituted for a need of planning and discussion.  And because of busy lives, sex in marriage is put aside and not made a priority anymore. Sex is at the bottom of the list. As stress interferes, there is no time to devote to each other.

Sex in marriage is a vital and crucial part of the couple’s intimacy that should not be neglected, especially after the arrival of a child. Losing intimacy after having kids is normal but should not be permanent. Intimacy is considered the glue of a marriage. It is also important to be able to find a connection between being a parent and a woman/man. Spouses should not summon themselves to a sexless life. They need to reclaim their intimacy slowly by communicating and talking openly to each other, thus reconnecting and revitalizing the passion that once existed.

It is said that people who have a good sex life feel better physically and mentally. It is also important for the individual’s overall health. It is good for the mind and the body. Spouses in happy marriages are healthier and suffer less emotional stress. Marriages need to maintain their sexual vitality. If that is not the case, the marriage is at risk and saving your marriage should become a priority. We can help. Please call us.