Sex by the Calendar – Marriage Intimacy on a Schedule
Keeping the passion and spark alive in a marriage long term is quite a challenge, no matter how intimate you and your partner were in the beginning of your relationship. Sex in marriage is in many ways the lifeline between you and your partner’s emotional attachment. So, make it increasingly important to include times for marriage intimacy in your weekly routine.
Avoiding a sexless marriage requires a dedicated effort from both partners to find time throughout the busy week to emotionally and physically engage each other completely outside of the pressures of daily life. How? The key is to make the time and make it part of your weekly or, if ambitious, daily schedule.
Here are a few pointers for romancing your spouse:
- Cook with and for your spouse. Sharing in cooking and eating food provides time for intimacy and expressions of emotion and passion. Taking the time to prepare an elaborate meal for your spouse shows a deep level of caring.
- Schedule one day per week minimum to have sex with your spouse. Don’t let your calendar fill up with endless appointments, work functions, school functions without also scheduling time for you and your partner away from it all.
- Don’t get caught up in patterned or commonplace gestures of love that don’t necessarily feel special or personal to your spouse. Try small but heartfelt gestures like leaving small notes around the house, or taking your spouse to a favorite spot for the day or weekend. Don’t get your spouse flowers or a gift because you feel pressured to so. Small, meaningful spontaneous gestures of love and appreciation will have a more lasting effect.
It’s all too easy to allow marriage intimacy to lapse from the passion you felt for each other in the beginning into a sexless marriage that finds both partners emotionally and physically distant. Take time out of your day to let your spouse know that you’re thinking about her or him. Rather than pressuring yourself to overachieve on special occasions, link your love life and the sex in marriage that you’re supposed to enjoy to the schedule you keep. Don’t hesitate to shuffle other items around on your calendar to ensure the emotional and physical needs of your relationship have a regular date set.
Most married couples find it difficult to talk about things related to marriage intimacy. Many of these couples find that their marriages have gradually lapsed into a sexless marriage. Don’t let your marriage become one of these sad statistics. Contact us. Our workshop can make a difference.