Salvage Your Marriage from Divorce
Divorce threatens your troubled marriage.
Where do you go when the bottom drops out of your marriage? Your spouse has an affair. You have an affair. The person you thought you married turns out to be totally different in reality, and love goes out the window.
“We’re getting a divorce! There’s nothing you can do about it!” shouts Jerry, slamming down the phone receiver, disgusted with his wife’s suggestion that they get help. He and Angie married right out of college, and their five-year-two-kids-later marriage is on the rocks. He never saw it coming! He worked hard, paid the bills, bought a house, and his stay-at-home wife gets involved with another man. As far as he’s concerned, it’s OVER! Divorce may seem the most logical, inevitable direction to go.
You plan to divorce.
How can you ever cope with the deep hurt of betrayal, resentment, and un-forgiveness? You take steps. See the attorney, tell your family, tell your spouse, wonder if it’s the right thing to do. Better to just chuck it all overboard, end your marriage, and try again later. Well, maybe try again later. But there’s always that fear of going through the same trauma and disillusionment again, and again, and again.
NOW is a good time to reconsider.
Is divorce the best option? Does it ever stop? Are good and happy marriages even possible? If children are involved, it’s a great time to reconsider whether or not to end your marriage. Before divorcing, you should seriously consider some things:
- Have you taken serious steps to get professional help? Eighty percent of couples said if their marriage was in trouble, they would seek professional help. Don’t be the 20 percent who don’t. Divorce isn’t really a justifiable option if you haven’t taken less drastic steps to repair things.
- What part of your failing marriage is your responsibility? You both contribute to the disintegration of your relationship. If your spouse is responsible for 79 percent of the problem, you still need to own up to the 21percent. The healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to understand and work on your own destructive patterns that have contributed to the breakdown. It can improve, even repair, your present marriage or at the very least, make you more fit for a future relationship.
- Try to make things as right as you can. Whether you stay together or divorce, do the right thing by each other. Remaining together means that you both have to work on your relationship to make it right and better. Ending your marriage means trying to do the right things toward each other and your children. The more bitter and hostile you end things, the more damage you inflict on yourself and those you love. Determine not to continue to destroy your children, your spouse, and yourself.
Decline divorce and go for rebuilding your marriage.
There’s always the option to reconcile with each other. Rebuilding a broken marriage is NOT simply going back to the same old ways. It’s not trying to put things back together like they were before the crisis. You build a brand-new relationship with each other by learning communication and relational skills that return love, hope, and fulfillment to your marriage.
Considering divorce? Please contact us first to find out how you can save your marriage.
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