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Marriage Help Articles

Divorce and the Impact on Our Children

Divorce doesn’t just affect you and your spouse, it affects all those around you, including your children. When you are having issues in your relationship and thinking about filing for divorce, it can be an extremely confusing time for children. Seeing instability in what was always known as a safe, stable environment for children can be very frightening. While it is very important for you and your spouse to do everything in your power to work through the issues you are having, remember to keep an open dialog with your children as well as to reassure them that they did nothing wrong and, no matter what, that they will be safe and loved.

Children are much more perceptive than we give them credit for, and can easily pick up on any tension you and your spouse may be having in the home. While during this time it is critical to open the lines of communication between you and your spouse, it is even more essential to do so between you and your children. If you decide to seek outside help, ask your children if they would like to talk to someone to help them through the tough time.

Stability is a very large part of a healthy child’s life, and when you are having issues in the home, this can be the biggest thing that is interrupted. You may be tempted not to come home or to leave the house after an argument, but in a child’s eyes this could be considered abandonment and not a part of the norm. When the status quo is shaken up in a child’s life, it could lead to behavioral issues and problems in school. Even if you and your spouse are having issues, retaining the “normal” lifestyle that you are used to as a family will go a long way to keeping your children feeling safe and stable.

If you feel that divorce is your only option, please reconsider getting some true help to do everything you can to open the lines of communication and get back on the right track with your marriage. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, at least do it for your children. The normalcy and stability it will bring to their lives is worth it.