Resolving Marriage Conflict by Focusing on Solutions
If you, like so many other married couples, are trying to work through the trials and tribulations of managing your relationship and struggling with serious marriage issues, then you’ve probably questioned repeatedly “how to help my marriage succeed?” But what about the age old adage of “forgive and forget”? Finding needed marriage help may be as simple as learning the power of forgiveness.
There is probably nothing more difficult than swallowing your pulsating pride in the heat of battle, especially if you feel that playing the role of the victim suits the situation. What you risk more by ignoring the importance of forgiveness are the possibilities of finding a positive method of conflict management and communication by removing or detaching yourself and your emotions from the volatility of the issue itself.
Forgiveness is not about ignoring the issues in your marriage. It’s not about condoning the problem or misguided behavior of your spouse. It’s simply about detaching yourself from each incident or issue so that you can focus on ways to save your marriage without bogging your relationship down in spite, anger or resentment. It’s your new lease on hope and a positive and mature approach to resolving conflict in marriage without feeling like you’re being held hostage to marriage conflict. This is where the danger of repeating the same behaviors without moving forward could place your marriage in a stalemate and eventual jeopardy.
Move on! Learn to let go of your anger and resentment. Don’t stoop to spite and revenge. Work through the individual issues that feed these emotions and that allow anxiety and fear to prevent you from engaging in healthy conflict management. Why withhold your will to resolve your marital issues and grow your relationship by suffocating that desire with grudges?
The art of managing conflict in marriage lies in the ability to move past the problems to focus on potential solutions. No marriage can succeed if it remains mired in the past. Forgiveness will net positive benefits for you and your spouse beyond simply opening your communication to more honest interaction. Forgiveness frees you to start afresh, every day.
Reaching out for professional help to assist you and your spouse in your conflict is an option to consider as well. You will find that the stress of handling issues as they pop up is greatly reduced when you can focus your energy on what is working in your relationship. Seek help toward learning conflict management skills and the power of forgiveness. Consider our A New Beginning marriage workshop. We can help.