Advice You’ll Need When Tackling Conflict in Marriage
Conflict resolution is not an inherent trait. It is a learned set of skills or techniques that fosters a positive attitude and an approach to conflict management that is both healthy and effective. Marriage is a mixed bag of personality traits, preferences and passions that often find themselves at odds with each other. So if you find yourself at the edge of a proverbial cliff with your spouse and not sure where to look for marriage help, reducing and resolving your and your spouse’s issues will require both of you to learn and adapt.
The end goal is to cultivate conflict management skills that help you avoid making difficult situations in your relationship worse. Consider the following advice for resolving marriage conflict in a productive manner:
- Take a positive and proactive approach to finding solutions instead of placing blame. Accepting accountability for your part in the problem is a step toward a productive process. Blame is simply avoiding your part in the conflict rather than working toward a solution.
- Control your anger. Be careful that your reactions to an argument aren’t taking precedence over working out a solution.
- Take time to step away and gather your thoughts. Repeat as often as necessary.
- Your having to be right all the time is a sure way to make your spouse loses interest in communicating, especially when your spouse’s opinions and concerns are being overlooked.
- Compromise and learn how to forgive. It takes honesty and a healthy dose of humility to resolve conflict in marriage without irreparable damage. Make your behavior demonstrate the way you want to be treated.
- Above all else in conflict resolution, talking things out before small issues become big problems will go a long way in helping you maintain a successful long-term marriage. Never be ashamed to ask others for marriage help if your efforts lead to dead ends. There is no shame in admitting that you may need an unbiased resource to get your marriage back on the right track.
The end goal of this process is to create a personalized set of guidelines for conflict management that you and your spouse are at ease with, understand, and believe to be important. No two people can stay on opposite pages and expect to solve problems without consistently butting heads. Talk and plan before you assume that you have all the answers.
Even with your best effort at resolving marriage conflict, you and your spouse may find yourselves moving further and further apart. If this is happening to you, please contact us. We would like to help you save your marriage.