Learning About Marriage through Your Children
Raising children is by far one of the most difficult tasks you’ll undertake in your marriage. Between the battle lines and the push and pull of balancing a healthy married life with being “all-star” parents, you’ll find a unique opportunity to gain valuable marriage insight from a place you might never expect.
Just as the decision to get married changed your outlook on many things, having children changes it even further. It’s through your children and the different perspectives they bring to your daily experiences and observations that you find wonderful opportunities to learn more about your spouse and how to really enjoy being in love.
Kids are amazingly resilient. They cry bucketfuls when they fall off their bike the first time, but then they get up and hop back on as if the pain was already a distant memory. They battle peer pressures, growing pains, awkward social interactions and a whole slew of other issues, while maintaining a joyous outlook on the prospect of each and every day.
It may be the simple wonder of climbing their first tree, playing baseball at the park, or simply eating ice cream on a hot day that they look forward to with equal fervor. What is so amazing and inspiring is their ability to move on from setbacks without so much as a second glance.
It is this carefree, glass-half-full attitude that you and your spouse can truly learn from and apply in your relationship. Learning to find the balance of children and marriage is a parent’s opportunity to discover the gifts of enjoying each day with unbridled passion.
Just as your children can move from one bump and bruise and ice cream shop to the next, couples can move through life knowing that there is no setback in your marriage that can or should overpower the good you find in each day. If we learn this lesson from our children, we could all be able to brush our knees off, get back on the bike, and start pedaling again with a purpose.
As much as we wish it weren’t so, relationship problems occur in every marriage at one turn or another. Though positivity can assist you in working through many marriage issues, there may come a time when you forget how to be a kid and the joys in your marriage are trampled by the stresses of the real world. It’s times like these when we need to look at our children and remember the lessons we can learn from them.
If you find that you and your spouse are no longer able to appreciate the beautiful subtleties of everyday life, don’t hesitate to reach out for help just as your child would reach out their hand for yours. There are marriage workshops and seminars designed to help you get back up on the bike and steady you down the road back home. When a marriage crisis makes you feel helpless, try looking at life through a child’s eyes. Be more determined than frightened by challenges and know that help is right there if you just reach for it. Reach for it!
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