What an Old Record Collection Might Tell You About Your Marriage
Think back to the first record you and your spouse bought together. What did it and the music recorded on it mean to both of you then? What does it mean now? How did you feel about each other then? How do you feel about each other now? Are your feelings for your spouse like a record collection packed carelessly in milk crates and dusty boxes awaiting the yard sale and salvage prices? Or are your feelings for your spouse like music that remains timeless, inspiring and joyous?
The music you loved in that cute little shop next to the ice cream parlor and retro clothing shop that smelled like cheap incense may sound very different today. Similarly, you may have changed and feel quite differently about your spouse. Perhaps communication has broken down between you and your spouse. Perhaps the music of your relationship has changed or has gone away altogether. How can you help marriage be music again? If you are to a point of feeling trapped, lost and confused, here’s a bit of marriage separation advice: before shuffling your “record collection” to the masses, take some time to sit down and ask a few important questions.
How did we get here? What changed and why? When did the changes in our relationship begin? As with an old record album, you might ponder why you used to love your spouse. You and your spouse loved listening to music together, but now it’s a miracle if you can maintain a healthy conversation. You used to have similar musical interests, but as in most cases the common interest in most things has digressed. And the absence of those common interests may now only serve to convey the depth of your emotional separation.
Take time to think. Likely the time you and your spouse stopped listening to music together piggybacked an overall breakdown of communication, a small reminder that a bigger problem was at hand. And likely the insight you gain from understanding what was happening in your lives and your marriage at the time of your music’s saddening demise will give you an opportunity to look forward to a better relationship. After all, the first step to saving your marriage is discovering what needs fixing. The next step is to learn what to do and how to fix it.
Many couples find that seeking professional marriage help is the most effective way to learn how to fix their problems and develop the skills necessary to rebuild their marriages. Why not let your music interests of days gone by inspire you to go back to where you and your spouse had only just begun?
Ready to take that next step? Consider A New Beginning marriage seminar to help you and your spouse reconnect.
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