Communicating During Separation

Marriage separation need not lead to divorce. If you and your spouse are separated, don’t be discouraged.  There is still hope. Separation is a serious step, but you can still save your marriage. So don’t give up! It’s time for a new beginning and a renewed marriage.

If you are separated, it is very important to keep open communication with your spouse. After all, you are still married even though you are apart. But because you are apart, it is easy to let the poor communication that contributed to the decision to separate evolve into no communication at all. And without good, open communication, most separations culminate in divorce. Be honest with yourself: you need helpful marriage separation advice.

If you are separated, you are likely finding it difficult to approach and communicate with your spouse. Here are a few tips to help you along:

Set guidelines.

Whether you are newly separated or have been for some time, talk to your spouse about how much communication needs to occur, how often and what you will be talking about. Be clear in your purpose and address the situation head-on. Being open about this will help eliminate any doubt and confusion on either part. Further, make this communication guideline a part of a larger plan of action during the separation.  What do you and your spouse hope to accomplish during this time?  How long might it take? With what frequency will you communicate? Where? For how long? The fact that you are separated testifies that you both need relationship help. Interacting with your spouse to set and commit to follow these guidelines will in itself go a long way toward giving you that help.

Be consistent.

Saving your marriage is hard work, plain and simple. Once you know what kind of communication you and your spouse are comfortable with, maintain it. For example, if you agreed to meet for coffee before work, arrive ready to make the most out of the time with your spouse. Show each other that you are committed to resolving marriage conflict.

Remember that communication is a two-way street.

Be an active listener. Don’t do all the talking. Allow equal time for your spouse. Ask questions and try to understand how your spouse is feeling. Marriage problems are usually complex and emotionally charged for both parties. You and your spouse both bring a lot of baggage each time you try to communicate. Seek to understand just as you wish to be understood. Commit to and maintain a true give-and-take dialogue. This can help repair and strengthen the bond between you and your spouse, and put you on the path to a fresh start, indeed, a new beginning.

Every marriage is different, and so is every separation. While the above tips might be of some assistance, don’t hesitate to get professional marriage help. The A New Beginning weekend marriage seminar has been highly successful in bringing separated couples back together.


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