Married and Hurting? Don’t Let Money Get in the Way
Feeling too deeply hurt to ever recover?
“It’s the second time he’s gambled away our savings!” she sobs. “I have to work a second job because she pays NO attention to our budget!” he shouts. Trust has been broken so many times that both of these families are in serious need of help. They no longer believe one another. Their communication is merely functional. They’ve lost the intimacy of relational conversation. In both of these marriages, the couples feel their financial difficulties prevent them from ever affording help. They feel stuck in a financial nightmare. However, if they continue down this road, they will waste more money, by far, than the help will cost. A decision at this point to pay for the help they need gives them the opportunity for both marital and financial recovery.
When your marriage is in trouble, do you feel there’s no help for you?
To wound or be deeply wounded by marital betrayal, rejection, or indifference can so traumatize a marriage partner that you just give up. Have you heard, seen, and been disappointed by your spouse, just too many times? Maybe you’ve shut down and are just enduring your marriage until you can escape in divorce. Or, are you in attack mode, fighting with your spouse or anyone trying to help save your marriage? You agonize if anything will ever be right again. Being open to help is really hard. You feel such a sense of shame, failure, and pain. You may think divorce is your only real option.
Divorce may not solve anything but actually do greater damage.
Divorce may not give the relief you want. Why? The painful, unresolved, marital issues that threaten to break up your marriage require serious attention by you and your spouse. Divorce will not automatically correct or remove communication barriers you’re presently practicing in your failing marriage. Moving on to someone else won’t solve what you need to change about yourself. You’re likely to repeat the same destructive decisions, communication, and behavior in a new marriage that you’re doing now.
Hurting couples need help.
Behind the anger and disillusionment are hurt and disappointment. In a troubled marriage there is great pain. Start the journey of recovery and healing to become healthy again in your present marriage. Take the energy you’re expending to end your marriage and use it to build your relationship. Be open to help–real help–and restore your marriage. Get tools that really address marital issues and turn your marriage into one greater than you’ve ever had.
Start your healing at A New Beginning Workshop.
- Learn how to express anger appropriately
- Practice how to control destructive responses
- Agree on how to reach your dreams
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